Those Awkward Post-Middle-Age Days…

13331051_10208274481491527_7558355817175238360_nEarlier this evening, I was checking out at our local Harris Teeter with a few items for supper and I had Erin and Landon with me. It’s one of my favorite stores and I genuinely enjoy going there to shop. That hasn’t changed, but this exchange happened with a very nice cashier, who I’ll call Janine, as we were finishing up the transaction…

Janine asks, “Mr. Locklair, are you a senior?”

My head pops up and I look at her, and then her helper, who was suddenly staring at the ceiling, and I start looking at the ceiling…for the cameras, right?

In a measured tone, I asked her back, “A senior…what?”

Janine: “Well, I just…”
Me: “And you should pick your next words very carefully.”
Janine: “Well, I just thought…”
Me: “You mean like, do I have a son named ‘Junior’, right?”
Janine: “Well, you could get a discount…”
Me: “I have a THREE year old, see him right there?”
Janine: “Oh, I thought…”
Me: “Careful.”
Janine: “…he is so cute.”

I was trying to process this experience and I had the thought, “I won’t be a ‘Senior’ until Landon is…uh, seven.” That didn’t support my argument as much as I thought, so I kept it to myself. 

“Janine, I’m just kidding,” I lied. “We’re all good – I really appreciate you looking out for me.”

I called Erin to go stop her little brother from rummaging through the free cookie bin and, as we started walking away, I heard Janine’s helper whisper too loudly to her, “Girl, you just told that man he was OLD! What is wrong with you?” I had to laugh because that’s all I really wanted to tell her, but I think she got the idea.

Folks, just remember that the math doesn’t mean everything — it’s all about heart. Lord, help us grow old with grace, dignity and tact. Amen.

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